According to James P. Krehbiel, many children are raised in families where the effect of alcohol abuse is rampant. At night, kids may wait anxiously for a parent who comes home after stopping at the local bar and drinking too much. For these children, nervous anticipation, sadness and disappointment are an every day reality - they live in a secret bubble of shame.
The chronic nature of addiction takes its toll as kids develop coping strategies to deal with the impact of alcohol abuse. Children do the best they can, but develop unhealthy ways of reacting to a parent who drinks excessively. These problematic patterns leave children susceptible to long-term emotional damage, particularly in relationships.
Some of the toxic characteristics of an adult/child of an alcoholic are:
• Mistrust
• Avoidance of conflict
• Performing to please
• Excessive caretaking of others
• Fear of abandonment
• Emotional detachment
• Anticipating the worst
• Being overly-critical towards self and others
These destructive qualities are internalized and carried around as adult baggage. They are easily activated in adulthood in response to relationship issues. Adults who have experienced a troubled childhood can find hope, healing and a triumphant life by processing the pain of their past. This worked can be accomplished through recognition, grieving, releasing and letting go, and creating new, more rational ways of responding to problems and people. Krehbiel's new book, Troubled Childhood, Triumpant Life: Healing from the Battle Scars of Youth provides solution-focused strategies for adults in their searches to leave their perilous past behind in pursuit of a brighter future.
