DISCIPLINE THROUGH COACHING

Coaching our children is an important facet in the process of parenting. Coaching children consists of role-modeling and teaching proper ways of behaving. Often, we assume that our children are aware and understand what our expectations are for them. We may feel discouraged if our kids do not share their toys properly, do not smile and greet people with proper social skills, or manage their household chores. As parents, we become frustrated when our children display behaviors that demonstrate a lack of concern for others, behave impulsively, or lack personal independence.

Establishing positive and negative consequences are important to discipline, but first parents must coach their youngsters regarding the ways of handling a myriad of social behaviors, helping them to develop self-confidence and self-directed behavior. Coaching your children may involve:

• Teaching basic hygiene skills such as showing your child how to brush his teeth properly.
• Coaching your child in the skills necessary to promote playing fair with others.
• Educating your child in the use of proper social manners and etiquette.
• Coaching your child to respect and value personal property.
• Teaching your child to be sensitive to the feelings of others.
• Educating your child to support and assist children who are less fortunate.
• Teaching positive thinking and the development of positive character traits.
• Educating children to assist the family with household chores. Demonstrate to them how to do the chores satisfactorily. Allow for mistakes and re-teach.

Appropriate behaviors that children display must be “caught” and “taught” by their parents. Coaching your children in the proper ways of handling behavioral tasks is imperative. Without parental involvement in teaching your children how to manage their behavior, your discipline plan is a recipe for failure.

James P. Krehbiel is an author, contributing writer, and cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. His book, Stepping out of the Bubble: Reflections on the Pilgrimage of Counseling Therapy is available at http://www.booklocker.com/books/2242.html. He can be reached at www.krehbielcounseling.com.